“You're not going to get comfortable with this. Especially as we get closer to something. But you are going to get more comfortable with discomfort.
You’re actually going to look for the lion. This is to cultivate a part of your nervous system that will ultimately free you. The thing that is reflexive in our human nervous system is to contract and turn away from difficult things. The result is that we become in opposition to part of our journey, because, there are always difficult things that are going to show up. We will try to grab on to what feels good and push away from what doesn’t, and that’s the sure way to suffer, to get into a battle with our own humanness and therefore, never really love ourselves unconditionally. The new age movement and so much spirituality is fraught with this. You might be able to get really high and stay really high, but eventually people get sick. The separation we create with our own humanness starts to get its own metabolism. So, this seems really sober, and in a way, too sober for many. It may seem that if we go toward pain and difficulty, that that’s all we’ll live in. Where it leads to is where resistance to life as it shows up falls away, and even in contractions, there is more space. We’re not getting rid of any contractions or any part of our humanness. The space becomes more easily accessible more quickly, and even the darkest of our contractions come up to be held. The deepest parts that feel separate, or less than or alone or abandoned get held in presence because you don’t resist them anymore and you become more present. Then what happens is you see the light in the contraction, you start to experience the openness in the darkest of places; you are no longer resisting life. You start to experience the god-consciousness in its form. You start to have ecstatic experiences in all aspects of life. This leads to an ecstatic life, but it looks like we’re going the opposite way. It’s what most people will never do because they want to have dessert first, and then denial of what’s difficult comes in again, so then we have conditional love, conditional awakening.
Resistance not in the way, it's the path, it's part of the journey. It's there right before you deconstruct all the ways you've put lid on yourself. That part of you that's in resistance and wants to control is the part of you that wants Love more than any other part of you. So, how do we love while there is resistance? How about with a 'Yes, Welcome.' Let's hold that. Let's touch that.
Notice that even though it's unpleasant, there’s a different quality in your being. What is that quality?”
“Alive” I say. "A safety that's unfamiliar to me."
“Practice like your hair’s on fire.”
– Conversations with my teacher, Lawrence Conlan