This meditation practice is one of the most powerful practices you can do as it incorporates a powerful balance using 2 alternating yin and yang practice. One increases your ability to alchemize and heal, while the second increases your ability to unconditionally love what is. This is the main practice that my teacher has given me, and it is truly life changing! It will help your sessions with me profoundly. This practice is no joke- it’s not the kind you can space out to and fall asleep from. Instead, it cultivates DIRECT, INTIMATE, EMBODIED connection with life. It awakens you, breaks open your heart and relieves you from suffering. Yep.
About the Practice:
Meditation 1 is the Yang/Active meditation that teaches you how to go toward your sensations, especially the contractions and to embrace them in order to metabolize parts of our being that we resist, whether painful or pleasurable. By welcoming what we fear, block out, deny, go away from, protect from and dissociate from, we liberate ourselves and develop a powerful capacity to be tender and intimate with all that we experience, amplifying our feeling of aliveness. As we build a deep intimacy with ourselves, we create a greater capacity to experience the Divine in all things. This is the masculine/father style of practice that helps bring a lifetime of emotional blocks to the surface so that they can be met, healed and transformed, which ultimately relieves our suffering and increases our happiness.
Meditation 2 allows you to teach your system gentleness- to unconditionally love and accept all that is without resisting, judging, shaming or isolating. It teaches us how to release ourselves from a constant cycle of craving more than what we have due to the belief that happiness or the answer is outside of us. With this meditation you will grow a capacity to feel that nothing is missing, that nothing needs to be changed, and that everything (including you!) is perfect, precious and whole just as it is. You’ll develop the capacity to receive the fullness in all things and to be completely at peace.
I recommend beginning with 10 min 2x/day, both morning and evening and setting a courageously beautiful intention that this practice will draw you, with each practice, into new levels of the grace of your being.
You will alternate between meditation 1 & 2 every 2-3 minutes to create a flexibility in your system for both the yin/receptive and yang/creative aspects of life within your nervous system. Eg: 2-3 min in Meditation 1, next 2-3 min Meditation 2, next 2-3 min Mediation 1 and so on, for 10-45 min. 10 min 2x/day is a realistic place to start. When you get addicted you’ll probably want to do 45 min/session.
Note: You might consider setting a repeating timer that goes off every 3-5 minutes to help you alternate between the 2 parts. ( I love the Insight Timer App for this).
Begin this practice sitting upright on a mediation cushion or chair. You will do Meditation 1 for 2-3 minutes before you switch to #2.
Reminder: The breath IS what propels connection. It is that which breathes life into Life. It is deep loving, intimate, alive contact. It is a river of warm, dynamic life force. You will guide this river with loving awareness, and as do that, the river (breath + presence) will begin to surge on the shores (the places that feel stuck or dissociated) and dissolve, little by little, your blockages.
Start with a present breath & awareness at the base of the spine and begin a long, slow inhale.
Move the breath with loving contact up your spine & all the way to the top of your head as in you inhale, attempting to sense the deepest layers of sensation in your nervous system. On the inhale, become aware of the restrictions as well as the openings with equal presence and reverence. Inhale as much breath as your body will allow.
Now: Hold your breath once you’ve inhaled as much as you can, pick a place where you feel restriction (a place that needs love and opening) and say, “Yes, welcome sweet one” and soak into the sensation as much as you can. Don’t skip past any area of big resistance. Feel as much sensation as you can in that part of the body without distantly noticing it from above and without merging into an emotional story. Just soak into as much sensation as possible.
On your exhale soak your whole being as you surrender your breath and awareness to a sensation. I
f you want to increase the depth of intimacy with these sensations and create more presencing in these physical anchors to a defended sense of self, make a sound internally or externally that matches the feeling of any sensation that calls to you. Do this with as much surrender and kindness as you can muster for your sensations and your reactions. The sounds themselves will not be what we are conditioned to express- they are the sound your animal body makes in order to release tension. The sound itself vibrates the stuck energy and releases old energies even more than our awareness and breath can alone. Play with this until you find a sound that feels authentic, and if you’re not able to, just make the sound inside. It might sound like a moan, groan, laughter, shrill sound, really anything! When you make sound try one that matches the energy you are feeling all the way to the most bottom of each breath. Then go right into an elongated inhale. Be sure to include the very topmost part of the breath where you engage your upper chest and back even if this builds tension.
Breath is a massage from the inside which creates true intimacy and ability to be with a Direct Experience, without story or commentary. In this practice we learn to go toward our experiences instead of blocking them out or creating defenses. When we do this practice, we free up blockages and undigested experiences in our nervous system (places where we felt wounded and didn’t receive enough love). That energy that is metabolized gets redistributed into your body, mind and heart and creates a greater sense of intimacy with your being and with Life. Your body starts to trust you and it’s sensations again.
Do this part of the meditation for 2-3 min. Then begin Meditation 2 for 2-3 min and alternate until you finish your practice.
We’ll call this practice “just sitting” or simply “sitting.” Rest comfortably & come into a state of Listening with your heart. Just allow everything to be as it is and hold every sensation, though, feeling in your heart. You might feel your whole body or just part of it.. Feel free to let your awareness wander.
It might feel good to give yourself some permissions. You might say to yourself, “It’s ok to _____________.” Just start with the words and see what wants to fill in the blank. You might be surprised. Then pause a bit to let that soak in and offer another permission…”It’s ok_____.”
Simply do whatever you’re doing. Think what you’re thinking, feel what you’re feeling, experience what you’re experiencing. There’s no right or wrong way to meditate. If you’re following your breath, follow your breath. If you’re reciting a mantra, recite a mantra. If you’re doing nothing in particular, do nothing in particular. There’s no need to follow a thought, nothing to concentrate on, nothing you need to do. If you’re captivated by a particular line of thought, a feeling, or a physical sensation, that’s fine. If you observe this process you do, if you don’t you don’t. There’s nothing to correct or adjust, no guidelines about what you’re supposed to be concentrating on, such as breathing, thoughts, feelings or sensations.
If your eyes are open, let them be open. If they’re closed let them be closed. If you open them, close them, then open them again and let them wander around, let all this happen. If you need to distract yourself, then, within the parameters of this practice, distract yourself. It doesn’t matter whether you’re concentrated or distracted. In fact, because there’s no object of meditation and no need to meditate, there are no distractions. You don’t need to do anything other than what you’re doing. You can’t go wrong. If you enjoy a session, you enjoy it, if you don’t you don’t. Enjoying your contemplation is no better than enduring it.
Because it consists of doing whatever you’re doing when you’re sitting, this practice incorporates any other meditation practice you may be engaged in.
You may experiment with going from one part to the next or blanketing your entire body with your awareness. As you do this…breathe the part or area into your heart on a gentle in breath, and extend your kindness or an inner smile of greeting toward the part or area from your heart on the out breath. If you like, continue with the same part or area for 3-5 breaths and move on. OR just one breath and move on. You are just noticing and not trying to change anything. Once AGAIN…You are just noticing and not trying to change anything.
(Note how during the day this self-care offers you more to give to your world and the support that spontaneously dawns in a new level for you. Journal this and any small successes to nourish this new way of being daily!)
When you go to sleep and when you wake up start with a long, slow inhale. The first act of your life was an inhale. Begin pretending that each inhale is the first act of your life. Relish this for a few breaths while gently smiling and having your attention lightly on your heart area. After a few breaths, at the top of the breath, internally say “yes” to this increase of life; and “welcome” to any sensations into your heart. It may be pleasant, unpleasant, or a mixture. On each exhale make a sound that matches the vibration of the feeling in your body, pleasant or unpleasant (this is your animal body’s sound, not your conditioned sounds). DO THIS FOR 20 BREATHS.
After your 20 reps: in the morning- hold your intention for your gift to life in your heart a for a few moments. Then sit up and begin your mediations.
After your 20 reps: in the evening-if you are still awake- rave to the Divine about what you appreciated about you that day and what you appreciate about the Divine. What are you grateful for this day having come to a close.